10 things you can do to cope with COVID-19

With the country experiencing a lockdown it's no surprise that competitions and arena hires have been cancelled, all but essential travel has been banned and most full care livery yards going into lock down and owners not being allowed to visit and a lot of people not riding at all, I know that a lot of horsey people are struggling. Not only is the situation terrifying, but to then also lose what keeps us sane means that 2020 is turning out to be a bit of a disaster. With the government recommending to practice social distancing and self-isolation, I’m sure a lot of people have found themselves es with some extra time on their hands and not quite sure what to do with it.

So, aside from riding/exercising your horses (if you're allowed to go to the yard and if you want to ride!), here are a few things you can do to keep yourself busy:

Equestrian self-confidence

Riders often criticise themselves when things don’t go to plan and many others frequently doubt their  own ability. Whenever I've taught riders giving them more confidence and belief in themselves has always been the thing that I've worked hardest on, because it's always been the one that they needed most support for. I've heard so many people wondering if they’re doing their horse justice, if they’re making the people who support them proud, if they’re really a good enough rider to achieve their goals 💫 Often this leads to perfectionism, overthinking or over-riding... Does this sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone! I wanted to share with you how to develop your self-confidence/self-belief, because I know so many riders who aren’t pursuing their dreams because of self limiting beliefs and their fear of the judgment, defeat or embarrassment - and I do include myself in this group. Why do you think it's taken me YEARS to get back out competing again? Out of fear of the judgement of others and from crippling attacks on my self-confidence. It's a feeling I know so well.

Essentially, there are two elements that affect your riding confidence: the technical skill/your ability and the mental skill/your mindset. Have you ever seen a less technically skilled rider get better results than someone with more skill at a competition? I've seen it a lot! Whilst it can be due to a lot of reasons, it could also be because your mindset is so incredibly important. And here I have point out that self-confidence is not something that you inherently have or don’t have! Self confidence has nothing to do with talent. Self-confidence and self-belief come from hard work and from your willingness to experience vulnerability. It comes from your willingness to experience judgment from other people, failure and embarrassment at a show, at a clinic or at your yard. Which is why the more you go out, whether it be competing or training, the less nerve wracking it becomes as you get used to it. 

Introducing Digital Horse

I'm really pleased to announce on the blog that I have teamed up with Digital Horse and become their official guest blogger! 💙💫 If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram, you'll already know this but I wanted to make it's own blog post too. Digital Horse is THE social media hub for horses & equestrians and is made up of Liz & Rebecca, a mother and daughter team with a big passion for horses. It's a place where the conversation is about your horses, and won't be drowned out by adverts and negativity. It's been a long time since I've had the pleasure of getting nothing but love and support for every single thing that I've posted - a rare phenomenon which is why I'm SO proud to be a part of the team 😍 My first official blog post for DH will be on the website this week, so if you don't want to miss out on that, I recommend joining!

Having had the chance to meet & chat with the lovely founders of Digital Horse a few weeks ago at the Aztec Diamond Equestrian press day, we were talking about how important it is to keep Digital Horse as a safe community, where you can ask questions and talk to others about your day without being mercilessly attacked by other people. The problem of social media such as Facebook and Instagram is that when so much of your life becomes public, other people’s opinions can become difficult to avoid, especially when people seem to have so much time on their hands to comment and apparently some have forgotten the saying "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything". In my case I'm lucky in that what I choose to put out into the world is entirely my own choice, and whilst I often don't post about the negative days, what I do share on Facebook and Instagram is carefully chose. I have my own horses at home, so most of my riding, horse care and the decisions I make happen on my own terms and I do not have the problems that others may do at livery yards. I get to choose exactly what gets shared & published, but others are less fortunate and therefore need to have a safe place where they can share how their day went and how their horses are doing without receiving any negativity.

When I see posts on Facebook asking for advice on how to deal with problems with their horses or simply asking for useful exercises when riding or different methods of lunging, but they have to add a ‘no nasty comments’ note at the beginning of the post it just breaks my heart. Having to worry about nasty comments or receiving hate when all you're doing is simply asking for help, guidance or more knowledge from others saddens me. How anyone can be hurtful and judgmental when another person is simply asking for help is beyond me. And the biggest problem is that there doesn't seem to be a solution, which is why I'm more than happy to have joined up with Digital Horse as their guest blogger to try and help people, especially the more vulnerable younger generations to find a safe and secure equestrian community where they'll never be bullied or attacked.

Just do one better each day

"The only person you need to be better than is the one you were yesterday" Rachel Hollis

The quote above got me thinking about how our aim to become better riders often feels like a roller coaster ride with its ups and downs & sometimes you definitely feel like you a loser when compared to other riders, who might be out there competing and winning every weekend, who you wish you could copy or even emulate after seeing their successes... But by the time you’re headed up the "Self-Improvement Mountain" for the millionth time, you might also be vomiting/going for a fear 💩 by the time you arrive at the competition venue, cursing yourself that you once again decided to go competing rather than staying at home. It made me question why so often our attempts to better ourselves are so uneven, and why they so frequently end in failure? There are a few reasons, but for me personally it's focusing on the big goal which can sometimes overwhelm me into inaction and over-thinking. Instead of just being pleased with the fact that my horse is going well at home, I want to dominate the world, win the regionals & go to the nationals! And so I draw up plans for leaving behind the 99% of other riders out there behind, and becoming part of the extraordinary semi-pro 1% of the best... But the enormity of my goals ends up overwhelming me into inaction, as a big & bold goal looks to most people's the brain as something so impossible that it’s actually scary.

Winter riding motivation

I'm quick to admit that I am very much a fair weather rider, which has only been fuelled on by the fact that for the last TEN years of my life I've always had an indoor arena either on the yard we were at or close by. So having to deal with the British winter weather (rain, gusty winds, showers, rain, wind, blinding sunshine and then some more rain) it's been a bit of an adjustment not only for myself, but also for the ponies 🌧💨 I always used to be a "I'll ride in any weather - if there is an indoor" kind of person, but now with no indoor arena near us, it's turned into "I'll ride in most weathers, but torrential rain and wind means a day off" kinda person. Although some people will tell me to man up and get on with it, I don't think riding my horses in terrible conditions with both the horse and I in a horrible mood is the right choice, so often the crappy weather days are for lunging, in hand work or a massage and grooming day. But anyway, here are my tips for creating as much motivation as possible for riding even on those miserable days ⤵️

1. Invest in warm clothes, gilets and shower-proof coats: Layers, layers, layers. My tactic for not only in the cold, but also for riding in the rain too as normally you won't get soaked through to the bottom layer. The more comfortable you know you will be, the more likely you are to follow through - even in miserable weather! So invest in those lined riding breeches (Pikeur FTW!), three pairs of gloves and several sweatshirts and jumpers that you can change as soon as you are done riding. My Rydale gilet is my favourite go to on dry but cold days and my current favourite knitted jumpers are from Rydale, sweatshirts from H&M and sweatshirts with motivational quotes on from Olco Equestrian 💞

31 Day Social Media Challenge Day 14: Why do you do what you do?

Today's challenge was to share why you do what you do. So why do I blog? It's been nearly 5 and a half years since I suddenly decided to start blogging about my life and my horses, and I honestly never thought I'd have so many people interested in my options, my training diaries or my passion for equestrian style and trends. But since then I have gained followers from all over the world and even won awards for my blog. When blogging started (and I was already several years late to the game), the first blogs were really just online diaries, and in the chance of becoming a professional blogger and making money online was not the goal. And for me, it still isn't. But since then the blogging world has changed, developed and evolved, and now people blog for many different reasons. I think it's pretty easy to spot those who blog to earn money and gain products, and those who do it for a love of blogging and sharing their own personal journeys. I do it for the love of blogging, but there are also other reasons:

31 Day Social Media Challenge Day 8 - Topical Tuesday

Day 8: What do you think about choosing the right saddle cloths, what is most important 1) comfort, 2) style or 3) matching your other accessories? Do you think cheap imports are to blame for companies like Nuumed having to close?

 When choosing my saddle clothes I always go for a brand that I can trust to have manufactured a good quality product that will last for years, which has been designed with the horses' comfort in mind. I then pick a colour or style that I like, which normally matches my other accessories. But for me, comfort and great quality will ALWAYS come first. I’ve seen so many articles and Facebook posts recently condemning everyone who enjoys matchy matchy, but being matchy never hurt anyone... 🙄 I personally don’t get the "lets own 200 pairs of shoes and hand bags" thing but I’d certainly never go and insult those that are happy collecting shoes and hand bags. Yes it might frivolous and trivial, but I love it and I prefer to have my horses looking smart in their new sets with me in matching clothes.

Are you expecting too much of yourself and your horse?

I always knew having horses and completing a master's degree would be difficult, even with the having the horses at home. But I expected it to be easier than it has been, because my bachelor's degree wasn't as difficult as this! There honestly haven't been enough hours in the day, and the last couple of months have been hellish due to a lack of sleep and constant stress. I'm currently SO close to the end, I just need to finish off my master's thesis, complete my last language course and get the results of the test of my last compulsory module. Yet I feel like for the last few months I've been a total failure to my horses, they had to deal with less time and attention from me, and more days off than usual because riding 3 horses every day is just not possible when you're trying to finish up your degree! 🎓

And then a friend said to me that "you're expecting way too much of yourself". A lot of people (without horses!) struggle to complete their master's degrees, and I've been doing it with three horses and a yard to run! And this made me think that the reason I've felt so bloody guilty is because I've had to put university work first ahead of the horses for the first time in my life AND I've been expecting too much of myself. The perfectionist in me has been dying because I've not blogged regularly and ridden every day. But perfectionism means setting our goals too high and having unrealistic expectations. Being averse to failure is often driven by an underlying sense of shame and that's exactly what I've felt.

"You can't be normal and be excellent"

I recently saw a fantastic video on Facebook which interviewed the Canadian dressage rider Cindy Neale-Ishoy and it was such an inspiring story from her, about her way of thinking and training. In case you don't know anything about her, she is a Canadian dressage rider and was a member of the Canadian team at the 1988 Olympics where she placed fourth in individual dressage, and won a bronze medal in team dressage. She also competed at the 1972, 1992 and 2004 Summer Olympics.

Hands down the most memorable thing she said in this short video was to "train harder and do better" 👊🏻 You do not get better from simply wishing you were better, you get better by training harder and working more! Stop making excuses and just be the best you can be because absolutely no one is going to do it for you. Train harder and go out there to win and be happy with what you achieve even if it's not a first place result 🏆 Those who are the best riders are the best riders because "they want to know more" whilst those who don't want to know or to learn more will always struggle. It was very interesting for me to hear that for her and George Morris the "biggest problem is that people don't want to know". I'm almost fanatical in my need to constantly learn more in order to become a better rider, and I can't actually see why someone would put so much money and time into a sport like this without wanting to actually learn more!

A little progress each day adds up to big results

I've been unintentionally very quiet on the blog recently, purely because I've been struggling a little bit with the fact that I feel like I haven't made any progress recently with either of the horses. Because I don't compete at the moment (it's definitely planned for spring 2018) I've put an enormous amount of pressure on myself lately to be able to show to everyone here and on social media that I am putting the work and getting results, but within the last few weeks that I felt like I'd reached a plateau with both boys and I panicked. It wasn't a blogging block this time, now it was a totally overwhelming feeling of failure.

Which is why I was incredibly grateful to get a plane tickets to visit my old yard friends back in the UK as a birthday present from my parents. Getting away from my normal life for three days was the best thing mentally for me, it forced me to focus entirely on something else and limited the time that I spent online. Everyone on social media always seems to be doing better than you, be out competing and training and being just all round fabulous even if in real life they are not. Being away from my laptop for 3 days helped me realise that everyone is always struggling a little bit, but we are all just are too afraid to post something that somehow could show our faults and limitations. So this is my 'I've felt like crap for the last few weeks' confession post ✌🏻

Project Gingersnap blog hop: Change

T from Project Gingersnap asks: "Have you at some point moved on to a different horse, trainer, stable, etc with the purpose of advancing your progress? What made you realize the time was right for a change? Or did you opt to adjust your goals in order to stay with what you know is working? How did either choice work out in the long run?"

I thought this was a great blog hop subject because making a big change like this can be terrifying! I have always gone with my gut and have been 'brave' to change stables and trainers in order to advance and make progress.

Ignore the haters

Inspired by Confessions of an Average Amateur Eventer on Facebook, I decided that I needed to have another slightly ranty blog post about bullying and jealousy, simply because what these bullies are doing has actually made me see red. I CANNOT understand why someone would set up an actual group on Facebook, made purely to bitch about certain #horsebloggers and apparently entire groups were "set up specifically just to discuss (negatively, always) peoples pages, their journey and the way they write." No. Just no. To the haters: learn to act like a normal decent human being and for goodness sake if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything! Keep your mouth shut and don't follow that page/blog if you don't like the person. I absolutely despise people who are bullies, so to anyone who is being bullied right now just keep going, keep riding and competing and show those haters that you are SO much better than them. Most likely their comments will be to do with jealousy that you are doing better than them, that you are working harder than them and achieving more things with your life. You have been noticed because you've worked your ass off and they haven't ✌🏻

Practise creates confidence and confidence empowers you!

I've recently been talking to several friends about the importance of confidence and positivity when you are around your horses and when riding, and it's inspired me to go on a bit of a positivity rant about this. This is a topic that is VERY close to my heart as I have been through a big learning curve during my time owning and riding Vallu and I wanted to spread a little bit of a confident/optimistic vibe out into the internet horsey land.

We all have weaknesses as riders and horse owners - I'm an over worrier and a perfectionist which you can quite easily see in my original riding style. I don't want to over do the horses in case they hurt their legs so I give them lots of walk breaks (some would argue too many walk breaks!) but then on the flip side I over ride with my hand, seat and leg aids and try to over compensate in my quest to become the most perfect rider. It has taken several years (and tbh I am still working on this and more than likely always will be) to start to zone and block out everything when I'm riding, to be a lot more quiet as a rider and focus on just the horse and I, nothing else. No 'normal' rider, e.g. an amateur like me, is going to be perfect so never judge yourself against professionals or those who seem to be perfect. I can guarantee that they will be struggling with something too.

Being positive

"To a rider, a horse is not a 'pet' and not a friend. Your horse is a best friend, a partner, a team mate. Horses do not care how many time you may come off, how covered in dirt you are, and at the end of they day: It doesn't matter what colour ribbon you got. Because it's your horse who will be there for you, to love you, and cherish every moment with you, to talk to you, and to listen to you."

Ever since starting training with AF one of the main things that I've learnt is the power of being positive, and how by focusing on being positive can really effect your horse.

The biggest difference in Vallu is his self-confidence. He's less spooky in nearly every situation, because I think that he believes in himself more.  If you've been following the blog for a while, then you may have noticed how our hacking out has changed quite a bit... Already hacking out in 2015 we've been confronted with several situations where last year it would have been the end of the world, but now even though the situation might be scary, we can cope with it and move on. Last Sunday we even managed a sane trot up the hill on the way back from our hack, which has definitely gone to the list of my favourite moments with Vallu. To get to this stage, we've had a lot of positive hacks out, and every time Vallu relaxes on a hack he gets a big pat and lots of 'good boys'.

Having a positive mind as a rider can also improve your horse's confidence in his ability to do his work - both the movements that they already know and are established well with, as well as work that is being introduced to them such as new movements. For us, it's the 'simple' things that Vallu often overthinks and then gets worried about getting it wrong. You'll often catch me giving him a big pat when we get a nice walk to canter transition, or a good halt and rein-back. Giving him positive vibes to help him figure out that he has been good, and makes us both happy :)

When struggling with the awful cycle of tense horse = tense rider, doing an easy exercise and doing a lot of patting and praising helps. With my own personal fear of riding in the scary outdoor, I've been trying to do this a lot. On a good day, we can now do a short, easy, sweet ride outdoors with no problems. And even on a bad day we can now do walk outdoors with long reins and even do some trot, because when we do plenty of walk-trot transitions and every time it's successful Vallu gets a pat and I try to breathe, and focus on the positive victories no matter how small.

"Don't let anyone make you pressure him." AF has often said this to me, and it has had the effect on our training sessions. With Vallu being quite 'different'/mareish/'quirky', I've heard plenty of people telling me that I don't work him hard enough, that I don't get the best out of him because I'm too kind to him because I let him take the piss out of me etc. Those maybe true but, but I will put my horse's happiness and wellbeing ahead of me looking good, or forcing him to work when he doesn't feel right. There is a reason why my brother didn't sell him to be a junior/YR horse, and that's because he knew that the horse needed someone to love him before he could perform.  When Vallu he is happy, he sparkles and I'm not gonna let anyone change that. 

I have a horse now that trust me, and knows that he is loved

The importance of hacking out with your horses

 Once again I've seen the huge difference that hacking out can bring to a horse. Basse has been hacked out walking in the woods since the snow melted away, but he hasn't been allowed to canter properly for a long time (probably since last autumn when I last hacked out with him?) The difference between his way of working before and after being hacked out was nearly impossible to believe unless you witnessed it for yourself. Not only was there a massive change in his attitude to work, but also in the way that he moves (he was more through his back, and his hind legs moving a lot better, and were more underneath him)

Measuring degrees of dressage collection

Dressage Today did an absolutely fantastic article about Measuring Degrees of Dressage Collection. I highly recommend reading it for every rider, not just for those riders interested in dressage. The article is full of great quotes, but there's also a lot of general good sense which you don't have to be into dressage to appreciate.

"Think like a horse and you will understand."

Although this will not come as a surprise for anyone, when your horse reacts in a negative way towards something, then think like him to try to understand why. This is something that my mum made me realized a couple of weeks ago after our awful hack out (you can read my moaning post here!) Because it was windy, Vallu could have been hearing things that I couldn't hear, and then his fight or flight instinct kicked in. After a lot of crying and freaking out, mum made me think like him, and understand Vallu's reaction. This is just one specific example, but it shows that being human does sometimes makes it difficult to understand our horse's actions.

The importance of a horse's temperament: spooky yet talented

Eurodressage once again wrote a fascinating article, this time about Jazz offspring and their temperaments, (which you can read here) and it got me thinking about how much Vallu reminds me of these horses. 

The most relevant quotes of the article for me are these three: 

"Adelinde feels that none of them were in the least bit crazy, they just need to be understood. 'They are sensitive, quick and intelligent but always willing to learn. Just do not insult them'." 

"Mary (Hanna) believes they need to be sensitively ridden to develop a great deal of trust in the rider and once they do this, they will always do their very best. "They will not tolerate rough or insensitive treatment but need to build a confidence and this can take time," 

"I think they all have strong herd protective instincts, so from there comes the looking (shying) or hearing (very noise sensitive) these are not horses that will be bullied but can be so rewarding when you make that partnership." 

Vallu is definitely sensitive, quick and intelligent and very much willing to learn. And I don't think that he is crazy at all, even though I can understand how someone might call him that. I really hope that Vallu has developed a great deal of trust in me, and I do think that he has, it's just a matter of waiting and seeing how he will react to our big move.

Finding the right horse for you

Eurodressage published a really interesting article about find the right horse for you (which you can read about here!)

There were several very interesting quotes, and the idea that certain horses do better with certain genders. 

"Earning the trust and respect of your horse is paramount in creating a dressage partnership and a horse will know if his rider has the talent and belief in him, to go all the way."

“The horse is the best judge of a good rider, not the spectator. If the horse has a high opinion of the rider, he will let himself be guided, if not, he will resist”

I've come across many people who believe that a big powerful gelding does better with a male rider than a female rider. Even both Rama and Vallu could be considered to be better off with a male rider. I've had plenty of conversations about me riding Vallu, and many questions go along the lines of "isn't he a bit big for you?" and "wouldn't he do better with a male rider?" Even though at first I might have taken offense, I can see why people say this.

Vallu looks huge in this picture, and he is big, 17.3/18hh and muscly and big-boned. Luckily I'm not the skinniest of girls, and I have strong core muscles which means that Vallu does sometimes have to listen to me. But the only way that we can have a good ride is if Vallu respects me and my aids, even if there is a small(ish) female rider on board. There are days when I struggle, holding back a huge 800kg galloping ball of muscle isn't the easiest thing, and I can see how a big, tall, male rider could manage to control him better in those types of situations. 

But to answer the question "wouldn't he do better with a male rider?" I would honestly say no. I don't agree that there are horses that are a man's or a woman's horse, even though I've met many people who think so. Maybe some horses do better with one gender, but that horse should work equally well for either gender. Like I read somewhere, if you need more gadgets to control a horse, you are not doing it right. 

Yet when you take Vallu's temperament into consideration, I believe that Vallu wouldn't be truly happy with a male rider. Vallu has one of the most difficult temperaments that I have ever come across in a horse. He is prideful yet easily scared, humble yet somedays he has a stallion like ego which could easily fill the entire indoor arena, but also kind and loving. On the days when he acts like a giant pain in the behind, I wish I was a man, but on the days where he spooks at everything, is nervous and jumpy, then the worst thing that you can do is to put a male rider on, because it ends in a total catastrophe (it's been tried and tested and really doesn't work.) I totally agree with the author of the article, who says that because of past experiences, a horse may prefer the often softer and more intimate relationship it can have with a female rider, and I think Vallu does because he is a big softie that loves kisses.

With some horses, you can 'click' with them straight away. And I clicked with Vallu immediately. I loved how big moving and fancy and intelligent Vallu was from the first minute that I sat on him in Germany in 2011. But I also had a double bridle on with draw reins! This was not good, and I hated the fact that I had to have them on. I was even embarrassed because I don't agree with using a strong bit and lots of reins in order to stay on. But... Vallu was so spooky and untrusting that Henri thought that it wasn't safe for me to ride him without them and to this day I have to honestly say that I still agree with him. I can now ride him in a single bridle with no problem at all! But it has taken me over a year of lots of work, blood, sweat and tears to get Vallu to trust and respect me, so I believe that if I had been riding him that day in a single bridle, he could and would have dumped me on the floor in less than a second. The difference between the horse then and Vallu now, is immense, but my point is that even if you do 'click' with a horse straight away, it doesn't mean that all will be okay and easy going (an illusion that I lived under for far too long with Vallu.) 

"A talented horse can come into your life and share a piece of its journey with you but unless your personalities match, the horse will know, and the greatest strength a rider can have is the humility to say: “this horse is a super horse but it's not my super horse.” " Everyday I thank the stars that my mother was able to be as strong as she is, and say that this is a super horse, but it's not my super horse. If she hadn't done this, I might have never gotten the chance to ride Vallu, who is definitely my super horse.

The importance of a correctly fitted bridle

In magazines you tend to see so many articles about the importance of a correctly fitted saddle, how it can cause so much damage to the horse's back and tips on how to check if your saddle fits correctly. This has resulted in me becoming a little bit paranoid about my saddles, and I am constantly checking them to make sure that each saddle fits each horse well. However, what you don't tend to often see are articles dedicated to bridle fitting! I know bridles are much easier to fit on a horse and you don't need to worry so much about the bridle as you do about the saddle, but have you ever seen a horse's facial nerves and how bridle affects them?

Brow bands that are properly fitted on a horse bridle will place the crown piece comfortably behind the ear base. If the brow band is too small, it will rub the horse behind the ears and can cause pressure on the nerves. Make sure that yours isn't too small!