Things that have helped me to like myself more

I thought I’d share some of the ways I’ve learned to love myself more over the past few months.

1. Following Instagram and Facebook accounts that show more bodies like mine:

I made a conscious effort a year ago to try and change the kind of body I see in online. These days my media is pretty much solely Facebook and Instagram, with the odd lifestyle or news website thrown in for good measure. What that means is that for the most part, I have some form of control over what I see and I can use that to my advantage. I have filled my Instagram follow list with women who look more like me, so therefore I can make mid-size as the norm in that I see every day of my life. And in doing so, it’s helped me accept my own body shape as completely run of the mill ordinary in the best way possible. I am not a strange or hideous, instead I am completely and boringly normal. Oh, and my absolute fave (non-horsey) account for cutting through bullc**p diet culture is @drjoshuawolrich and @jameelajamilofficial.

2. And unfollowing/unliking anyone who makes me question myself: 
In the same way that I recognise which accounts make me feel good, I’m also quick to unfollow those accounts make me question myself or feel anxious about who I am. Unfollowing or unliking any accounts may feel harsh, but remember this isn’t about them – they could be  amazing and happy and the bee's knees – but they could also really play up my own insecurities, and so sometimes even if it’s temporary, I unlike/unfollow/mute them. I don’t follow any fitness accounts or anyone who discusses diets or describes foods as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. I also tend to avoid account which only show the glossy glamorous bits of their horsey life – I need a bit of a reality check in there. 

3. Reminding myself of my achievements:

I often look at my life now in the eyes of my 16-year-old self. I think of what she wanted, of what her big goals and dreams and ambitions were and I look at how much I ticked off just for her. Bachelors AND Master's degrees, gone to university abroad, owning three horses, competing in championship shows ✅ I have achieved a lot of things that would make her undoubtedly proud. When I feel worthless I remind myself just how many things (big and small) I've achieved over the past decade.

4. Finding everyday escapism:

I think one of the toughest parts of adulthood is a lack of escape –from every waking moment there seems to be an endless list of things to achieve with no breaks. If I’m having one of those horrendous weeks where my head seems to be ready to explode, I make a real effort to use the time in the evening to find as good as an escape from my own thoughts. For me this might be a TV show which grips me so that I can't think of anything else. My ultimate go to is a Pirates of the Caribbean film or a Jane Austen book.

5. No longer commenting on other people’s bodies or choices:

When you grow up as part of Generation Y, you grow up with a society-wide acceptance on commenting and judging other people. It’s deemed normal to shame and have an opinion on anyone and everyone, and not just to have the opinion, but to voice it especially if it's negative. I make a conscious effort not to. We are all beautiful, we are all unique, and we can never see the whole picture of what’s going on in someone’s life.  We should absolutely be raising each other up instead, and the #bekind movement has really helped.

I hope this helps in some tiny way because you are AWESOME 💞